Beautiful, isn't it? I'm on the patio off the small living room of the Yellow Bird Deer room at La Dona Luz Inn.
I planned for months to be in Taos on June 11th, the one year anniversary of my husband's death. Many people were concerned that I wanted to journey alone, but I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. That was confirmed when I arrived in Taos, walked into the La Dona Luz Inn and felt right at home.
Paco, the owner of the Inn, told me that just two weeks prior to my arrival another long time customer came to visit. The Yellow Bird Deer room was the favorite room for her and her husband, who also passed away last year. She wanted to celebrate and remember her husband in a happy place, so she returned to the Inn.
Her story was another confirmation for me that this journey was exactly what I needed to do.
The first thing I did after entering the Yellow Bird Dear room (also our favorite), was place my husband on the mantel, add a few of my favorite pictures of us and light candles in his memory. I cried.
The next day, a woman named Margaret shared a bench with me on The Plaza. As strangers do, we exchanged names and stories about our reasons for being in Taos. I told her I was here to remember and celebrate my husband on this first anniversary of his death. She took my hand and said, "Please know that you will be fine. Life goes on. Be happy. I know what I'm talking about because I've been widowed three times." She told me she had been fortunate to have three wonderful husbands and that even though they are gone, they are always with her. She also told me she had just broken up with a boyfriend of 6 years. I said, "Will you have another boyfriend and will you ever marry again?" Her response? "Oh, I'll live with someone, but I will never marry again!" Now mind you, Margaret is probably in her late 70's!
I believe I was meant to meet Margaret during this trip.
I've also visited several times with another guest at the Inn. Joe is a pastor who is nearing the end of a three month sabbatical. He has been a frequent visitor to Taos over the years to participate in writer workshops at the Mabel Dodge Luhan House. This year, he is exploring Taos and focusing on his writing without the structure of a workshop. Together, Joe and I lamented the tragedy in Orlando. Joe has been with his partner for 15 years, who proposed marriage two days before Joe arrived in Taos. Why can't people accept love between two people? What business is it of ours who someone loves?
Joe's congregation is very lucky to have him as their pastor. He has kindly and skillfully guided me in conversations about my husband and my grief over his death. Joe is such a thoughtful person and my conversations with him have left me feeling lighter and more prepared to move forward.
I believe I was meant to meet Joe during this trip.
One afternoon I went to The Alley Cantina, which is frequented by tourists and locals. I struck up a conversation with the bartender and a local businessman. It was an enjoyable conversation on a wide range of topics; loss, grief, moving on, happiness, travel, Broadway shows, Paris, the Mona Lisa, horseback riding and on and on. The businessman asked for my number and said he would call me later in the day. We ended up going for drinks and dinner at a local resort and continued our sweeping conversation on many topics. There were no awkward lulls in the conversation, just a comfortable give and take. He took me back to the Inn and I thanked him for a lovely evening. He was a perfect gentleman.
I walked into the Yellow Bird Room, lit the candles next to my husband and said to him, "I think I just went on my first date!"
I believe I was meant to meet the businessman during this trip.
I am so glad I have spent this time alone in Taos. I am so glad I met these people. They have helped me strengthen my resolve to do as my husband wished...live a good life and be happy.
P.S. The businessman has not called again, but that is fine with me. Let's not get crazy!
